If you are here, you may be the parent, guardian, or primary caregiver — the one who has been running the long-distance race of loving Avigalo. You are the anchor, the advocate, the one who has sat outside a closed door for hours, who has battled school systems and service waitlists, who has fought for every small gain while your own strength quietly drained away.
This is for you. It’s permission to feel what you feel, and a reminder that to finish this race, you must also tend to yourself.
The Constant Hum of Burnout
You know the sound, the quiet hum of the refrigerator at 2 a.m., the only constant in a house that never truly sleeps. You’ve been running on three hours of rest, grading papers or answering emails into the night, building something for the future in the only scraps of time you can find.
This isn’t just tiredness. It’s caregiver burnout — the exhaustion that comes from a decade (or more) of unspoken stress, emotional labor, and the constant fear of not doing enough. It’s watching your own life, your own dreams, slip quietly into the background while you hold someone else’s world together.
Permission Granted:
It’s not selfish to be tired. It’s human.
Redefining Caregiving: Your Oxygen Mask First
On airplanes, we’re told to put on our own oxygen mask before helping others. Not because we are more important, but because if we can’t breathe, we can’t save anyone else.
For the caregiver in the Grey Zone, self-care isn’t a luxury — it’s survival. It’s not about spa days or expensive vacations (though those are lovely if you can manage them). It’s about small, consistent acts of preservation that keep you from collapsing.
Start Small:
You don’t have to change your whole life. Just the next five minutes.
The Glue Story: A Mirror for Caregivers
B once came to me holding a bottle of glue, asking me to glue the back of his head to the couch so he wouldn’t rock anymore. He wasn’t joking — he truly believed that if he could “fix” himself, he would be easier to love.
When I think about that moment, I see my own reflection. I’ve glued myself down too — not literally, but by forcing myself to stay in situations past my limits, hiding my exhaustion, pretending I’m always strong and unshakable. Trying to be the “perfect” caregiver until the pressure nearly cracked me.
If you’ve ever hidden your feelings so you could keep showing up… you’ve had your own Glue Story. Let this be the reminder: you are not a problem to be fixed. You do not need to erase your humanity to be worthy of love or respect.
| Feeling / Challenge | What’s Really Happening | What You Can Do |
|---|---|---|
| Relentless Task Load | Overwhelm and “stretched thin” exhaustion | 15-Minute Rule: Block off 15 minutes a day for yourself — walk, read, breathe. |
| Emotional Drain | Guilt, frustration, grief for what could have been | Journaling Release: Write for 5 minutes with no judgment. Let it out. |
| Social Isolation | Feeling invisible in your struggle | Reach Out: Send a single message to someone who understands. |
| Feeling Like a Failure | Believing you’re not doing “enough” | Name a Win: End each day by naming one thing you did well. |
| Physical Exhaustion | Running on fumes | Protect Sleep: Add even 30 extra minutes of rest when possible. |
| No Boundaries | Always “on call” | Micro-Boundary: Say “I am not available for the next 30 minutes.” Protect that space. |
Join our caregiver circles – virtual gatherings where you can share honestly, receive support, and remember that your wellbeing matters too.
